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This Is All We’re Going To Devote To This Slim Thug Controversy


I haven't read VIBE magazine since I've stopped listening to terrestrial radio. I also haven't paid much attention to Slim Thug since AJ and Free hosted 106th & Park and I'm not quite sure why VIBE paid much attention to him either, but everyone has their reasons. I do know that Slim Thug infiltrated my Twitter timeline feed a couple of days ago because of some comments he made in an interview on VIBE.com regarding Black women's refusal to take responsibility for the overall dire state of Black romantic relationships. I didn't want to pay attention to it, but in doing so I unearthed something interesting.
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Slim Thug on Black women in relationships:

Most single Black women feel like they don't want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We're important. It's hard to find us so Black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard; they gotta start cooking and being down for they man more...Black women need to stand by their man more. Don't always put the pressure of if I'm fucking with you, you gotta buy me this and that. Black men are the ones that motherfuckers need [but] I think a lot of them need to step it up too.

Now, before you start rolling your necks and eyes, take a look at what Phonte recently had to say regarding his thoughts on Black women's lack of accountability in relationships. 

As for my least favorite thing about Black women, I would say its their overall lack of accountability for their actions. For instance, you can turn on the TV, pick up any magazine, or go to any website and find articles about the failure of Black men and how we ain't doin this or not doing that. But nobody wants to address Black women's f-ck ups, ESPECIALLY Black women...lol. And one big flaw I see in Black women is how quick they are to tell their men that they don't need them, and how dismissive they can be. But its total bullsh*t, and no one calls em on it. You can't scream, "I'm an independent woman!" in one breath, but then when little MarQuavius turns 15 and shoots up the whole fuck*n block its, "THESE KIDS NEED DEY DEDDY!!" The fact is, we need each other. And I wish Black women would understand that there's nothing wrong with admitting that you need a man. And there's nothing 'weak' about being sweet and nurturing to a good man who deserves it.

As far as my opinion, I think they're both correct. Personally this is the same advice that my parents, who just celebrated their 20-year anniversary, gave me as a teenager after I made some remark about not needing a man once I got a career. I do believe that we as a community need to press the reset button, let bygones be bygones and start loving each other more. But since I'm not Rodney King, I know that holding grudges cannot allow the slate to be wiped clean, even when it comes to love. 

But who cares about my opinion. The essential question is this: Are Slim Thug's comments, generally perceived as harsh and insensitive, wrong? If so, isn't Phonte essentially making the same point, albeit more eloquently and less laden with Ebonics and thus more intelligible to some? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.


Slim Thug: 'Black Women Need To Stand By Their Man More'
[VIBE]
"AND THE BROTHER SAID" VOL. 1 F/PHONTE COLEMAN [TBS]


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21 Responses

  1. They are making the same point. The only difference between them is working & tone.
    Slim Thug sounds like he just hit & joint & some Henny then started to talk, where as you pointed out Phonte is more eloquent & concise in his delivery.

  2. I never really thought that I would agree with Slim Thug, but I do agree. Slim Thug and Phonte were both saying the exact same things and as another black male working on bettering himself, I agree.
    Black women these days are so focused on the independent woman thing, that they degrade anyone they feel that is on a lower level than themselves. Most of the time, they are in the same situation as the guy but have inflated opinions of themselves that usually mess things up. They think their 10s when they are really 7.5s and want the guy that is a doctor and drives a Bentley while they got a ride. So when a guy that's just working his way up from minimum wage to something better tries to approach her, she thinks he's useless.
    If he doesn't have everything going for himself when he was single, what makes you think that he can do more with $50-100 dates with you. If you truly are an independent woman, you can be with him and actually make him feel like he doesn't have to bring you the world. Guys end up trying to make their women look like Macy's representatives with an Old Navy Clearance Rack budget.
    That builds unrealistic pressure and starts a cycle of since she said she don't need me, so I don't get screwed, I am going to make sure I don't need her. Nothing comes from that.
    Bottom line, Black women don't make black men feel good about themselves. Everything is a struggle. And if a person doesn't get acceptance in one place, they're going to look elsewhere. That's the root of most relationship problems between the Black community. Feeling that everyone has to protect their heart and always be looking elsewhere.

  3. What you didn't post from what Slim Thug said was the rest of his interview when he touts how it must be the White half of his bi-racial girlfriend that knows how to hold him and have his back....That ish right there totally negates any logical bits that could have been gleamed from what he said.

  4. That could be true but it sounds more like, "You need me. No matter how successful you get or how effed up I am, you need me. Over it! Don't look me in eyes! Now, get in there and make me a sandwich!" coming from Slim Thug. Tell me that is not asking for a fight-another useless fight!
    Trust me. Black women know they are flawed, as black men know they are flawed. It may not always be as direct but we’re bombarded with it every where we turn-media, strangers on the street, "friends", family, the Church, and the very people we choose to "love". However, a lot of us HAVE bended over backwards to change for men and we still get punk'd for it. In fact, we are told it is not enough. That is where the anger and frustration comes from. That is where, “Well f*** you then! I don't need you,” come from.
    Like Phonte said, we need each other. However, we are ALL afraid (with reason) to ACTUALLY take care of each other. That is why we all trying so hard to get more than we give yet end up not satisfied with what we got.
    It is time we make a pact to stop hurting each other and mean it. It is the only way we will stop using care and respect like weapons and actually love each other. Aren’t you all tired yet?

  5. I agree with you Cap'n but I will add notion to the one thing you said which I know eventually causes the problem for all Black Women.
    There is a difference between "assisting" your man better himself and "Changing" someone. That's where a lot of the wasted energy lies. You cannot change someone that doesn't want to change. You can only help someone that is trying to better themselves.
    My advice is look for someone that is trying to better themselves, don't try to find something that you like and change them into something loosely based on such. You will be hurt and eventually let down.
    If a man has fallen and is trying to rise up or find his way, you can help. But if he is comfortable with his own filth and situation give up before it is too late.

  6. Slim thug is whats wrong with young brothers now a days. Phonte on the other hand spoke the truth. Any (straight) woman who says she doesnt need a man is a misguided, independent fool. A real man needs a woman and a real woman needs a man, I dont care if he's white, black or green. If you cant find a good man, maybe it's because you are choosing the wrong kind of men. Instead of settling for any tom, dick or harry wait on a real man.................

  7. I'm just sick of all the generalizations. It's bad enough that you have people of other races who talk about Black people as if we're all the same but how are we supposed to get anywhere with all the generalizations and stereotypes we make towards each other. The fact that Slim Thugs comments are getting so much attention is saddening because as DLS77 stated he basically concludes it with White women are just better than Black women.
    I don't know a single Black women who says I don't need a man. What I do know are plenty of intelligent Black women who say I'm gonna take care of myself the best I can and hopefully I can share this with a good man in the future.

  8. @ kidadonis.
    Why would a woman that claims to be independent want a man with a Bentley......wouldn't she want to buy her own?
    I guess luxury brands around the world are only supported by Black women and the rich men that buy things for them. I didn't know so many wealthy men around the world were only married or involved with Black women because those are the only men they want?
    Independent but a gold digger at the same time......sounds like opposites to me.
    I guess Slim Thug's idea of support is to let him take a naked picture of you having sex and post on Twitter to all his fans.
    I don't take 'em out to eat
    I ain't here to trick or treat
    I ain't trying to fix your weave
    I ain't heard of that!!
    I'm just here to train ho's
    Put 'em on the main road
    Teach 'em how to 'Change Clothes'
    I know you heard of that!!
    Great lyrics!!!!

  9. People are on here praising SlimThug, but where is the rest of the interview? He mentioned how the white half of his girlfriend must be the reason why she knows how to treat him so well. That's not an exact quote but that's basically what he said. That is so offensive to me and to believe the author didn't put up the whole interview is even more offensive. If all he said is what is printed here I probably would've agreed too, but since I know that wasn't all he said I totally disagree! Bad journalism.

  10. @ Excuse Me?!:
    I am not a journalist. I am just an opinionated Black woman with a large music library and a computer. When these posts are written, consider that this is a website whose job it is to provide info on music but also to provoke stimulating conversation.
    I did not include the quote on Slim Thug's current girlfriend being biracial and what this meant to him in the context of this conversation because I knew someone would do it for me. Luckily, yourself and DLS77 fulfilled that role.
    😉

  11. I hyperlinked Phonte's interview in my own blog last week. I appreciate your objective look at the similarities in these comments. I can agree that they are indeed similar. Where the problem lies for me is that Slim Thug points the finger and then says, in a backdoor manner, that we could learn a thing or 2 from white women. It also said to black men, IMO, "if you still like the features of black women, get a mixed 1 so you can have the benefits of the white women too."
    What Phonte did was to call us out, but also stated why he reveres us by letting us know that he didn't trade teams. It's a sign of a willingness to compromise. It also says there ARE black women out here who are not totally unrealistic or damaged, or whatever generalizations have been attached, instead of insulting us as a whole and turning his back on us.
    "...successful black men are kind of extinct. We're important," implies that anyone but Slim is in agreement that he's important, that he's out here making major contributions and that any of us should give a sh*t about his opinions. Past that, I suppose the rest of what he said doesn't even matter.

  12. Yall betta had covered this shit. *sniffsniff*... I'm p-p-prpoud of yall!!

  13. Funny how you only posted certain parts of the interview. How convenient.

  14. Man this subject is ever on going. But the truth be told, i do feel Slim is wrong because most people do better together, whether successful or not. I have been married for 10 yrs now and have gone through a lot with my wife, meaning the kids, losing everything in hurricane Katrina and starting over in H-town. My wife was one of those , i can do it all by myself type also until she realized she really couldn't. She couldn't hold herself , or do a lot of the other things we men do, not to mention being afraid of bugs, Having a lot of what she has even materially, but Phonte is right on point with his comments. I'm a die hard brother who rides for Black women but they do need to take responsibility for their actions and stop downing a black man because no one is perfect. we can do bad all by ourselves but we can do much better together

  15. It was just a matter of time 'til Slim Thug's hennessy-soaked self-loathing tirade would hit the 'Bounce. The conversation has been pretty interesting. Covers most points. Good points have been made. Bad ones, too. But this reminds me of something MLK Jr said and it most definitely applies. And this applies to ALL people, not just the colored ones:
    "We must learn to live together as brothers (and sisters) or perish together as fools."
    Something to be reminded of one in a while. You know we humans have notoriously short memories.

  16. @Fact Checking
    That is exactly what my whole point was, the contradiction between the Independent Woman mind state but at the same time being someone that wants to be spoiled.
    Not necessarily Gold Digger and Independent woman combined but the idea is that so many women don't look at themselves realistically and want something that is unobtainable because they haven't raised themselves up to a similar level. The whole, "All the Good Men are Gone" sentiment is a bore because most don't know how to recognize or appreciate a good one when they see it. Then, the ones complaining about not having a good man, aren't "Good Women" yet. Personal improvement should be first before trying to find that perfect man.

  17. There's a world of difference between being a loving, caring woman and being a doormat, and I fear that this tired narrative (black woman is cold and unloving and needs to do better) really masks the deeper challenges that lie in the fact that women throughout the entire world are insisting upon equality and self-hood in ways that subliminally disturb men who haven't done similar work in being self-critical of our collectively warped value systems.
    The days of woman as servile helpmate have created a world of women whose unique gifts fester and rot away in the name of "going along to get along" The advancement of educational and work opportunities for women on the whole are demanding that we ALL do a reset on our thought patterns and behavior in relationships, not just women.
    If anything, my hope is that we as sisters and brothers can stop pointing and wagging fingers at each other and and examine with nuance at the impact of the African holocaust (slavery, Jim Crow) on our interpersonal behaviors with an eye toward compassion.
    Valuing both our human need for self-hood and our romantic interdependence is critical to this healing process. Let this old narrative die already, and new channels of compassion and respect take its place.

  18. I got two words you don't usewhen you talking about Black Women.....White Women. IMO, The biggest mistake he made was comparing us to our caucasian sisters and implying that they are better. I got what he was trying to say in the part you posted, and your correct he an Phonte were very similar in their views. However, Phonte did not make a bad joke about needing to go get a white women to be happy. If Slimm would have left Becky out of the convo, nobody would have cared about what he had to say. IMO of course. 😉

  19. I think Slim Thug and Phonte are coming from two different places and describing two different types of women. Slim Thug is speaking from his likely experiences with the type of women who chase rappers of his ilk (possibly superficial, undereducated, maybe goldiggers (although I hate to use that term) ). In the part of his statement that's not shown here he talks about having a woman who does whatever he says and doesn't want him to buy them a bunch of stuff. But as his lyrics that someone below implied he doesn't seem that willing to do much to make the woman feel special. The woman is just supposed to be his doormat because "successful" black men like him are "kinda extinct."
    Phonte is talking about women who call themselves "Independant" women i.e. the opposite of golddiggers for lack of a better term. He also includes some accountability for the men saying that we need each other. He makes a good point about it being okay to nurture a good man. But unfortunately he's generalizing too. Most women who have a good man who's doing his job don't say stuff like that. Most women who say stuff like that either don't have a man, have a man who's not doing his job, or are just reacting to how dismissive so many men seem to be toward black women these days. Most of us do appreciate and nurture our men even when they don't really appreciate us back.
    At any rate I could care less what Slim Thug wants from a woman because I have no desire to date a Slim Thug. And Phonte makes an okay point but misses it a little bit with his generalization.

  20. I think they're both making some really good points...it's hard to meet a black woman who doesn't have an " I don't need this s*** " attitude which leaves the good men with the exact same attitude...it's an never ending circle where both sides are getting hurt in the process, that is until you meet someone who is humble enough to change that attitude because it's all insecurities...

  21. Those comments from Slim Thug about black women really isn't the issue. It's the fact that he uses it as his platform to justify why he chooses to date a bi-racial woman. He says he must like her white side. It just seems like he doesn't like his reflection in the mirror. I think everyone is entitled to their opinion and taste. The problem is when that opinion is utilized to demoralize another...its not cool. If black women complain about black men maybe its justified just as much as if black men complain about blackwomen. But do not use it to further estrange the black family.



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