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Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ To Be Made Into Feature Film, Ruined


In case you were under the misapprehension that "Thriller" was sacrosanct in this dark age of The Remake, allow Hollywood to mollywhop your nostalgia into bloody submission once and for all. A feature length film of the Greatest Music Video Of All Time is currently in development. Yes, you read that right. For reasons that are irrelevant and infuriating, like "exploring the song's folklore," it's rumored that several major studios will be jostling for rights and that This Is It director Kenny Ortega is set to direct. Which studio dickhead assumed that fans were really clamoring for a backstory of Vincent Price's faceless voiceover "character"? Also: Imagine, if you will, "Thriller" without Michael Jackson. "Thriller." Without. Michael. Jackson?! Who else wants to zombie-smash everything?

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4 Responses

  1. Why why WHY do people take GREAT things and ruin them?? If it aint broke.... don't fix it.

  2. I was feeling all warm and fuzzy a moment ago, after seeing that video clip of the baby hearing his mother's voice for the first time...and now I wanna set fire to who ever thought THIS was a good idea...YOU CANNOT HAVE "THRILLER' WITHOUT MICHAEL. JOSEPH. JACKSON!!!!

  3. BLASPHEMY. Wow. I can't believe they're even toying with the idea of this. MJ is now the highest-grossing dead artist, bring in $275 Million in the past year. The MJ machine will never lose steam. Never.
    THIS, though, is not a good idea.

  4. #fail.
    that is all



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