No, Keri Hilson. No.


Please understand that before I even took the time out of my life to watch Keri Hilson's new video "The Way You Love Me," I had never formed an opinion about her. I knew that some people I knew dug her and some people did not. I knew she was cute and I liked her hair on most occasions that I saw a picture of her. I had no inkling of her singing ability or what lane she occupied in R&B (read: Rap & Bullsh*t). I can't say that I know much more about her after watching her video for "I Love The Way You Love Me," but I can say that this video is a prime example of what not to do during any artist's career.

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Much criticism surrounding this video centers around Keri's use of profanity and her decision to overplay sex in this video's execution. Sex sells. I get it. Everyone uses it to some advantage for the most obscure and unrelated things. Fine. My issues with this video, however, are of another variety entirety. Please indulge me in the following:

  1. Is that Jojo? I hope not.
  2. Why is Faith Evans in this? Her being involved in this uckery-fay at all just reminds of my mom telling me not to get others involved in my own problems.
  3. Keri Hilson can't dance. Fine. But thrusting one's crotch into the air--twice--is not overlooking the fact that her backup dancers are not able to overpower Keri's lack of sex appeal in this video and her overcompensation for lack of said appeal.
  4. I cannot believe that Rick Ross, yet again, proved some sort of respite for this nonsense. Kudos to you, sir.
  5. How did Columbus Short get involved in all of this mess?
  6. Was Keri Hilson really just licking...a door?
  7. Did someone travel back in time and clone Lloyd? And then force doppleganger Lloyd to be in this farce of a video?
  8. What is the point of this whole video? I know alot of videos don't have "points," but for a video to be almost seven minutes long, one would expect some sort of resolution to whatever creative arc was hoped to have been achieved.
I know many of you will wonder why so much is being spent on a video that is obviously not targeted towards an audience for whom craftsmanship is valued above pelvic thrusting. My answer: because this is some of the finest unintended hilarity that I have seen in a long time. As far as Keri goes, I wish her good luck...and Monistat. Take a look at this obviously NSFW video and leave your thoughts in the comments.

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