Ciara Says That ‘You Can Get It,’ But Do You Want It?

I want to like Ciara. I really do. She's affable, coochie pops with the
best of them, and is actually a better performer than her more popular, blonde or red-haired counterparts. But she keeps reminding me, and the world as a
whole, why she shouldn't be taken seriously. Taking a break from
performing as her alter-ego Trey Songz--because they are absolutely the
same person--Ciara's gearing up for the release of Basic Instinct, an instruction manual for mediocre broads worldwide. Summarizing
the effort in one sentence: Dammit I wish I was Janet Jackson.
Demonstrated by an overall forgettable mix of hair-whipping bangers and
awkward slow jams dripping with forced sexuality, it's evident that
Princess Crotch Pump wants you to want her. To her credit, she's a strong dancer and hardly ever takes a bad picture, but the overly persistent, attention seeker lacks the consistency and direction necessary to achieve the icon status she so desperately wants. Over the weekend, "You Can
Get It" surfaced, showcasing CiCi's cotton candy vocals over The-Dream
and Tricky Stewart's predictable production. Hopefully, "it" refers to a refund.
Return to sender, please. Four albums in and still looking for a lane?
Suggestion: grab Kelly Rowland and enroll in a nice, quiet typing school
somewhere. Secretaries will always be in demand. 

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18 Responses

  1. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha I almost stopped reading at "Taking a break from performing as her alter-ego Trey Songz--because they are absolutely the same person" but uhmmm, yeah! The problem with CiCi is there is not passion in her voice. What put her on the map was the production from Missie! She needs to go back to missie on her knee pads and beg her to help her like Jasmine Sullivan, san the bitterness.

  2. Oooh, that was so cold. LOL
    I feel she has too many 'yes' people around her. No one's willing to tell her 'no' to the machinations she conjures (re: "Super C"). I didn't listen to this because as you've stated, I knew it'd be predictable. She's not singing of anything DIFFERENT than the rest of these wanna-come-up-but-can't, R&B 'singers'.
    As it is at times wont to do, my musical-mind hearkens back to the 90s (insert eye-roll, 'coz I know it's coming) and singers like Shanice and Tracee Spencer.
    You know what song comes to mind when I think of Tracee Spencer? Not "Tender Kisses" though I do think of that one, but "THIS HOUSE"

  3. Is this article supposed to be funny ? It isn't. Whoever wrote this sounds like they barely listened to the song preferring instead to write off color remarks about Ciara's looks and other unnecessary poorly thought out out 'jokes'
    Soulbounce needs some new writers. If I wanted to read ignorant Mediatakeout style writing I'd be on their site. Step it up please.

  4. Avatar

    LOL!!! I love Chris Alexanders writing myself, it's comedy with much truth all up in the mix, Ci error is WACK, been wack, a one trick pony whose trick has grown stale!!

  5. I guess it's true...small minded people are easily amused.

  6. The taste level of the first sentence? I expect better here.

  7. @Missy and anon and anyone else who takes issue with this post or this post's author:
    Every popular artist is subject to scrutiny and their appearance and behavior (crotch pumping in this case) is par for the course.
    Snark is something that this site was damn near built upon. If, however, you cannot accept snark as part of our daily commentary than there are tons of other music websites that don't.
    The good news is that ChrisAlexander isn't going anywhere and hopefully neither will you.

  8. Um. I respect all opinions on subject matter, but to liken the writing of anyone who considers himself a writer to anything resembling Media Takeout, is quite insulting.
    So, yeah, hate the content, but......
    I forgive you. *bows*
    Happy Holidays.

  9. Avatar

    Whomever you are Pissy you know nothing of my cerebrum or cerebullum,furthermore if you are indeed afan on Ci-error, Soul Bounce seems a lil out of your range dear.

  10. The blog was tasteless. Seems like more of an attempt to be as mean as possible than funny.
    P.S Are bloggers columnists really considered 'writers' ? That's like saying reality show stars are really 'actors'.

  11. WHOA why all the animosity?
    For what it's worth I thought the post was funny, entertaining ... and TRUE!
    Hey but what do I know i'm just a 'blogger'

  12. @Bella
    I'm not sure what "bloggers columnists" are because you clearly are not a writer, but how dare you come up in here questioning the talent of SoulBounce's writing staff. The music lovers/critics who devote their time and talents to this site are damn good writers first, which is a requirement to even write for SoulBounce. If you don't like what is written, that's fine. But to say that someone is not a writer because you don't like what they said is BS.

  13. Whoa, there's another Bella.
    Ok, well I do think the article was a little harsh, but what can you say, it's a blog, opinions rule here.
    Back to the topic at hand though, I don't think it's that bad if you consider all of Cici's other material. I don't think she's trying to be someone else, I think she's trying to make money. She, along with The Dream and Stewart all know what's popular these days and what's expected of her so why would she deviate from that? She's staying in her lane and that lane just isn't so popular over here. I get it.

  14. I want to like Ciara, too. I feel like she has way more substance then what she displays. Still wondering what's up with her movie.
    As a sidebar: All I can ask BELLA and others who frequent SoulBounce comment sections to blast us on how we suck as writers, have offensive content, "where do you work"? Because, apparently, that's the type of work I need to be doing where I have nothing restricting my inordinate amount of time to visit sites that I can't stand. The three of you who are regulars (though use different names occasionally) tend to do it so faithfully that there has to be payment involved. Clue us in.
    Me, personally, I have no time, it seems, to regularly visit the tons of sites I love and enjoy reading, let alone ones I don't like. Must be nice to have absolutely nothing else to do with your time.

  15. Im at a loss here. Can people not have differing opinions or critiques from the SB writers without being scolded like children? We get it, its your blog, you can do what you like, but I don't think its an unreasonable expectation to think readers can comment on what is written (and disagree). If that's not the case, please let it be known. It's getting a bit unseemly to not even be able to comment without the authors dominating the discourse to tell its loyal readers to go away.

  16. I tire of these exaggerations about how often we check commenters. it happens quite rarely. but it's definitely necessary because I also tire of people acting like it's not stunningly easy to disagree with something written here without insulting the writer and/or the website. it doesn't even take that much finesse; heads do it all the time. to anybody who can't pull it off, however: please don't comment here anymore. that's the last time I'll ask nicely.

  17. Thank you for the clarification. I will not visit the site any longer.

  18. @anon: I don't consider you in the category of those who can't disagree without being insulting. but if you do, then so be it.


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