Fearful of the "late-twenties spread" (and being a Southern woman, this is hard to fend off), I have been making a concerted effort to do better, eat healthier, sleep longer, drink more water, and be more active. So last week, I took a leap and did something I that will forever cement my devotion to keeping my body a temple, instead of a receptacle for Wendy's Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers and Diet Coke.
I got my Zumba® instructor license.
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It was one of the most exhausting -- and exhilarating -- things I have ever done. If you aren't familiar, Zumba® fitness classes combine Latin dance moves and music with fitness techniques to create a party-like atmosphere for participants while they exercise, something that I hadn't really experienced in my Bikram yoga sessions or by jogging. And as I merengued, salsa-ed, and booty-popped my way to a certification, I felt like this form of exercise was particularly well-suited for hip-hop and R&B music. I wondered to myself: What if Kanye's "New Workout Plan" was real?
Imagine combining Darrin Henson's Darrin's Dance Grooves with some Billy Blanks. And then, imagine a celebrity getting behind something like that. There's already a program like it on the market, Shaun T's Hip Hop Abs. But what if all of Shaun T's testimonials consisted of the rappers and singers his classes dance to? Rick Ross' tiddays would be shown miraculously tightening, and Dr. Dre would give the world the inside scoop on how he really got his deltoids on steroids swoll. That, my friends, would be a pretty compelling case for getting crunk as a form of fitness.
And as ambivalent as I am about Beyoncé's lacefront life, I can't front on her ability to shake what Mama Tina Knowles gave her on stage, while singing, while in heels. The girl can move and her body is sick. She gets extra props for teaming up with First Lady Michelle Obama to remix her "Get Me Bodied" on "Move Your Body" to get kids moving as a part of the national Let's Move! campaign. I'm actually surprised that she hasn't come out with a how-to dance video to break down those Shake Weight shoulders in her "Run the World (Girls)" video. Just looking at those things go makes my arms hurt.
Now, this workout plan doesn't only have to apply to hip-hop and R&B music. There could be an old-school instructional DVD as well, with Tina Turner as the personal trainer, doot-doot-dootin' to "Proud Mary" and Jackson 5 hits. She might even dust off Don Cornelius' old self and have him be her co-instructor. How many of you would cop that joint if you knew you could relive your Soul Train days and burn off that Chipotle burrito you just murked?
With all the health issues that African Americans and other people of color face, this seems to be a viable way to get folks moving and grooving. If we all actually did some of the moves we saw in our favorite videos, I bet people would see in a big difference in how they look and -- more importantly -- how they feel. I guess since I'm a fitness instructor now I should start taping...
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