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Lyon Family Business: A Guide To ‘Empire’ Thus Far

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Episode 6: “Out, Damned Spot”

Believe it or not, a good deal of this episode deals with none other than Courtney Love, who fantastically plays herself fading Empire star Elle Dallas. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

After getting a rose from Lucious (and subsequently getting shook and probably causing an all-out gang war in the process), Cookie is under the impression that things could be rekindling between her and her ex when he invites her to meet him at a hotel. Showing up in the finest of sables, her bubble is popped when she realizes that Lucious has gathered the family to announce his and Anika’s engagement. Upon hearing the news, Cookie shows her ass both literally and figuratively, much to the shock of everyone in the room. The next day, dressed in yet another animal print outfit, she’s nodding her head to Jamal’s finished version of “Keep Your Money” and bragging about serving everyone body (awdy-awdy) the night before.

Over at A Pimp Named Slickback’s, Lucious is having a fit brought on by his ALS just as Detective Walker sets off a security camera while he’s going through Lucious’ trash, forcing him to call his right hand man Vernon. Lucious’ shaky behavior is a red flag which makes Vernon (who looks like he’s on day 155 of a sleep boycott) ask outright if Lucious killed Bunky. The answer to which is “Of course.” Vernon immediately goes into damage control mode, but not before paying a visit to Andre’s office to choke him the hell out for giving the police a false alibi (told you that woud come back).

Meanwhile, Cookie’s playing Jamal’s song for the group of A&Rs, including Boo Boo Kitty, who’s hating unnecessarily, when she discovers that the company is cutting Empire legend Elle Dallas loose. But our girl Cookie ain’t having it and, despite opposition from Andre, Lucious and even Elle herself, makes the now-difficult star strip down to her essence and put her heart and soul back into the music.

While Cookie works on Elle, Jamal is on the verge after his mother arranges for a star athlete to tweet about “Keep Your Money” and kicks up his profile with an interview with Sway, who’s never met a TV cameo that he would turn down. All this sudden success is bad for Jamal’s relationships, however, as his boyfriend Michael is starting to feel the strain, especially after Jamal says in so many words that he’s single and implies that he’s straight all in one fell swoop during the Sway interview. Jamal also sees the rift widen between himself and Hakeem as their parents’ plans to pit them against each other start to take their toll. But that’s all good because Jamal’s latest Donell Jones-esque groove “I Wanna Love You” is thebomb.com.

While Vernon is setting up some poor fool to take the fall that Lucious should be taking for Bunky’s murder, Lucious is busy hiring a new head of security for Empire (played by the criminally under utilized Derek Luke). He also hires a snake oil salesman of a doctor to treat his ALS with an experimental Russian medicine (because those three words strung together always work out real well). Back at Empire, Cookie and the head of security meet and it becomes quite obvious that Cookie will be covered in chocolate real, real soon. She and Jamal then walk the halls and hear another wack song by Hakeem that everyone else is losing their s**t for (again, bizarro world). The dysfunctional family looks to be heading out to dinner together when a commotion at security named Olivia (the perfectly cast Raven-Symoné) catches their attention. She’s there with her little girl, Lola, who just loves Jamal’s song “Keep Your Money”...oh, and just happens to also be Jamal’s daughter. Surprise! -- D-Money

And there you have it folks, you’re ready for tonight’s episode of Empire, and the remainder of season, which is scheduled to end on Wednesday, March 18th. Be sure to follow Butta, D-Money and SoulBounce on Twitter as we live tweet episode 7 and come back tomorrow for our recap.

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