D-Money: So, is there anything that Chrisette could do to get back in our good graces? I mean, other than potentially releasing a spoken word album nobody asked for, of course.
Ken: Get Nas to write her rhymes next time? Have Iyanla fix her life?
Butta: I got nothing. I hate that we’re even devoting this much time to this nontroversy. We have bigger fish to fry and things to focus with the Liar In Chief running this country. Let’s not forget why we’re all mad in the first place. He and his policies should get our full ire and attention.
Ken: This is true.
D-Money: Yup. And now she pretty much only has two options: ride this b***h ‘til the wheels fall off or disappear and use this as inspiration to fuel an unexpected comeback.
Butta: Many an artist has inexplicably come back from what you think would be career-ending moments. See: James Brown, Michael Jackson, R. Kelly, Chris Brown, etc.
Ken: Yeah, that’s true. However, Chrisette isn’t on superstar status like they were. Her music may not be strong enough to outshine her transgressions. I mean, “No Political Genius,” ain’t no one’s “Thoia Thoing.”
Butta: It sure as hell ain’t “Fine China.”
D-Money: This ain’t even “Blood On The Dance Floor.”
Butta: Chrisette Michele is good, but she doesn’t have the range.
Ken: Right! I can’t lie. She’s got some songs in the chamber. But I can’t say all of them are necessarily hits.
D-Money: Alright, well, I think we’ve devoted enough time Chrisette and this Langston Snooze-ass song. Anything else you guys want to say about Maya Ange-looney?
Butta: Yeah, it’s not even worth parsing these Family Dollar Tree verses anymore and trying to make sense out of nonsense. This self-aggrandizing moment is just the latest disappointment, and, unfortunately, it won’t be the last from Chrisette and her camp. With this spoken turd album on the way, this is ONLY the beginning.
Ken: With God as her goon all things are possible.