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4 Other Ways Beyoncé Could Have Announced Her Pregnancy


As we all know by now, Beyoncé revealed her pregnancy to the world at the VMAs on Sunday night, proudly rubbing her protruding belly at the end of her "Love On Top" performance. While we congratulate music's most powerful couple on their successful conception of the Chosen One, we can't help wondering if she could have done a better job with the big reveal.
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So, because we know the number 4 means a lot to the happy couple, your intrepid SoulBounce Editors Remi and ChrisAlexander decided to look at four other ways she could have shared her joy.

1. She puts on a sassy, spirited performance of "Run The World (Girls)," complete with her fembot army and elaborate choreography. True to form, it's an epic set that builds in intensity until she yells that final "Who run the world? GIRLS!!" Here, she points to her belly as copies of her sonogram rain down from the rafters for the entire audience to get a first glimpse of Babyoncé. -- Remi

2. She pours herself into another gut-wrenching performance of "1+1," only this time it adds up to three...and not because of her admitted ignorance of algebuh.
(Bonus album-promo points if it adds up to four, as the jumbotron behind her shows an ultrasound of twins.) -- Remi

3. A reprisal of her energetic "Get Me Bodied" performance, acting out exactly how she got...bodied. Similar to her new version used in the "Move Your Body" campaign with First Lady Michelle Obama, this showing will feature new lyrics and choreography. Here, the Swizz Beatz production is repurposed as a conception-themed party jam with instructions such as, "Mission 8! Inseminate! And I cross my fangas, hoping that my genes dominate, hey!" -- ChrisAlexander

4. Via satellite from the basement of the Knowles-Carter compound, Kelly Rowland performs a dramatic, teary-eyed cover of Beyoncé's "I Was Here," changing the name to "I Was Here (First)," as digital renderings of the unborn Chosen One, undoubtedly already more talented than Kelly, flash across a projection screen. Backing vocals provided by Destiny's Child excommunicatees Farrah Franklin and Latavia Roberson. -- ChrisAlexander

Again, congratulations to the happy couple. We'll definitely be watching for the arrival of the heir to the throne.


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  • Merc80

    Wait...No Illuminati references? No Creole fertility dance celebration?! This post fails. Lol

  • Elle

    LOL @ Creole fertility dance celebration. That I would've liked to see. Bey needs to get on that. But then again, isn't every time Bey gets to dancing a Creole fertility dance?

  • http://mahoganie.wordpress.com Mahoganie Jade Browne

    OMG, OMG. I'm on the flo' dying from laughter. lmao

  • CAZ

    Once again, I'm amazed at how much time, thought and effort this site consistently puts into throwing subtle shade at Beyonce. It's clear the writers have a strong dislike for her, so why write an article about her at all? Can't miss a chance to take shots at her huh? You could have used that ALL time discussing some new struggling artist that your creaming over. The articles about most artists on this site are very well written and insightful, however, when you write about Beyonce, the content becomes very juvenile, petty, spiteful, and condescending. Like the saying goes, if you have nothing nice to say....Please do better

  • Nonplussed

    I know CAZ.
    Sometimes I wince a little at the Beyonce, Rihanna and Diana Ross spite, but sometimes I laugh too.
    That Gif, which none of us could ever have made up, will haunt my nightmares forever!
    They're all so hugely successful they'll survive a little snark even if it is sometimes a little out of synch with the tone of the site.

  • http://www.coloredboy.net ChrisAlexander

    Dear CAZ,
    If you can't see that this is in jest, then I am going to need you to double up on the prune juice and fiber to help with that constipation issue you're having. We (for the most part) like Bey here. Give it a break.
    Wishing you regularity and wisdom,
    ChrisAlexander

  • http://tiffsglitzandglam.net TIffani

    I am one of those who winces often at the snark in posts about certain artist here on SB...but this one is so obviously in jest that even admitted Bey super fan (I refuse to own the term stan) that I am had to LOL at em...for most part CA keeps it real with a bit of sarcasm...ok maybe a lot of sarcasm....

  • Shurley

    Totally agree w/ CAZ. No more Beyonce/JayZ/Kanye posts. Why waste energy and resources on artists you clearly don't like or support. Can't this be the neo-soul (REAL MUSIC?) site. More ERIC ROBERSON and PHONTE PLEASE!

  • JB

    When reading this I didn't think it came from hatred of her. It was funny. Lighten up a bit ppl :)

  • love

    actually she announced it on the red carpet. you throw shade and then congratulate...lol

  • Elle

    I don't think Soulbounce has anything but love for Beyonce. I think they respect her a great deal. It's just a running joke here on the site that they jest her. Which is fun and creative in my opinion. I think we've all jested/teased/made fun of someone that we liked. A tease isn't necessarily the same thing as shade. and LOL @ ChrisAlexander for wishing regularity and wisdom. hehehe.

  • http://http:www.coloredboy.net ChrisAlexander

    *looks around*
    are you people for serious? like, forreally forreal with this?
    maybe some peen will loosen up those sticks in your asses. Idk.
    HUMOR, kids. HUMOR.

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