Archive » Man vs. Machine

This page contains 5 entries posted under the "Man vs. Machine" category.

Man Vs. Machine (Part 5): $2.99 Buffalo Nuggets!

Welcome to the fifth installment of "Man vs. Machine" in which I, SoulBounce HNIC, listen to one hour of mainstream urban radio and document my "findings" along with the type of commentary that only your friendly SB editors can provide. Perhaps by the end of this experiment, I will have:

Learned what all the kids are listening to.
Reconciled all the trash I talk here on SoulBounce.
Earned a living running this site, because I'm telling you, listening to this crap ain't worth it unless I'm being paid. Handsomely. In Euros, because the US dollar is basically Monopoly money right now. Thanks, Bush!

Last Friday, I decided to take it back to "Prime Ham Time," by popular demand. I went with Our Other Local Station, which I haven't listened to in months. Would you believe they disappointed me so much I wanted to cry in a corner like I did when I walked in on Mommy and Daddy as a child? It was that traumatizing, people. Oh, and I'll never forget that you like it when I put myself through this. That's such a good feeling!

(6/20/08) 6:30 They're getting Lil' Wayne out of the way early. He always sounds like he's straining out that last stubborn pebble and that's why I do not like him. This is the "Mr. Carter" joint with JiggerMan. It took them, what, fifteen years to do this sh*t? Did they just realize they share a name? This bus is not only late, it's short as well.

nOvaMatic | 06/25/2008 at 2:00 PM | Comments (8) | Permalink

Man vs. Machine (Part 4): Welcome to the Quiet Storm

Welcome to the fourth installment of "Man vs. Machine" in which I, SoulBounce HNIC, listen to one hour of mainstream urban radio and document my "findings" along with the type of commentary that only your friendly SB editors can provide. Perhaps by the end of this experiment, I will have:

Learned what all the kids are listening to.
Reconciled all the trash I talk here on SoulBounce.
Wait, will this experiment ever end?

This week, I decided to slow things down a bit by listening after 10pm. Of course this means there's less opportunity for relentless mocking and self-inflicted maiming, but it was hard to recover after the last fiasco in which Our Local Station played the same song twice in one hour.

10:05 Floetry "Say Yes." Don't think for a minute they're stepping out there with this one. They used to play this joint ad nauseum when it came out like it was a Lil' Wayne song.

10:09 And back to reality! Of course they've always shown love to Raheem Devaughn, but instead of playing Rah's original "Customer," guess which one they go with? If you're thinking the "Peed Piper Remix" you'd be correct. When are these stations going to wise up? "Remix Killa" indeed.

nOvaMatic | 05/15/2008 at 1:00 PM | Comments (8) | Permalink

Man Vs. Machine (Part 3): Two Times the Love

Welcome to the third, long-delayed installment of "Man vs. Machine" in which I, SoulBounce HNIC, listen to one hour of mainstream urban radio and document my "findings" along with the type of commentary that only your friendly SB editors can provide. Perhaps by the end of this experiment, I will have:

Learned what all the kids are listening to.
Reconciled all the trash I talk here on SoulBounce.
Given up the hope that the purveyors of this "music" actually have a conscience.

6:07 And we begin with a Ray J track called "Sexy Can I," wherein he emulates R. Kelly circa-1999 but with slightly less class, if that's possible. I must've been away from the radio for a long time if they're playing Ray J now.

nOvaMatic | 03/05/2008 at 12:59 PM | Comments (7) | Permalink

Man Vs. Machine (Part 2): A Very Extended Commercial Break

Welcome to the second installment of "Man vs. Machine" in which I, SoulBounce HNIC, listen to one hour of mainstream urban radio and document my "findings" along with the type of commentary that only your friendly SB editors can provide. Perhaps by the end of this experiment, I will have:

Learned what all the kids are listening to.
Reconciled all the trash I talk here on SoulBounce.
Had my ears voluntarily lanced off.

I decided to try a different station this week to see if I'd fare any better. Surprise! NOT.

6:00 It's the 6 o'clock hour so you know what that means! Complete, unadulterated buffoonery! Could you negroes be screaming any louder? I mean, I'm sitting right next to you!

6:04 DUFFEL BAG BOY! Already they pissin' me off. How much do you wanna bet I'll hear the same songs as last week, even though this is a different station?

6:08 Uh oh! A new joint! No wait, it's Go-Go. NEXT! (No diss to Go-Go, I'm a DC native and current occupant. However, just like Hip-Hop, this new-fangled, automated Go-Go makes me want to hurt myself.)

6:13 The banter is wack. Now they're talking about T.I. Thankfully, they aren't on some "Free T.I." ish. I would've cut the radio off and said "Screw this blog entry."

nOvaMatic | 11/08/2007 at 12:00 PM | Comments (2) | Permalink

Man Vs. Machine (Part 1): T-Pain is Trying to Destroy Me!

Welcome to the first installment of "Man vs. Machine" in which I, SoulBounce HNIC, listen to one hour of mainstream urban radio per week and document my "findings" along with the type of commentary that only your friendly SB editors can provide. Perhaps by the end of this experiment, I will have:

Learned what all the kids are listening to.
Reconciled all the trash I talk here on SoulBounce.
Slit my wrists.

Let the chicanery begin!

My personal purgatory this past Monday evening begins with the requisite ten minutes of commercials, that have been "ethnicized" to make ads for Pizza Hut, Clearasil and Geico more palatable to the target audience, obvs.

6:56 The Dream's "Shawty is a Ten" feat. Fabulous. This is my first time hearing this. It sounds like Chris Brown, T-Pain, and Bow Wow are multiplying. Oh, and it's awful!

7:00 Seems I've stumbled upon a countdown of sorts. Top 7 at 7? Oh great. Make me proud, DC. Not. OMG, are they giving out Chris Brown and Bow Wow tix? It's like Christmas, my birthday and Yom Kippur all wrapped in one!

nOvaMatic | 10/31/2007 at 12:00 PM | Comments (5) | Permalink