9:59 Whose idea was it to have Hip Hop Honors premiere after I Love New York 2? That person needs to get dealt with. Somebody please get this broad and these nuts vying for her infections off of my TV screen quickly.
10:00 Tracy Morgan is a fool! Somebody please check his SCRAM.
10:01 Why is T-Pain gonna be on this show? I see myself getting mad when he appears on my TV screen.
10:05 The first honoree is Missy Elliott.
10:06 I see Kerry Washington bought some hair.
10:07 Missy did all that with the word bitch? The hell is Kerry Washington talkin' 'bout?
10:08 Time for Missy's video segment. Welcome back to Team Chunk, girl.
10:08 I'm gonna need that Prince t-shirt she's rockin', though.
10:10 Please sahdown, Kerry. I know you were in Saved the Last Dance and all but you are getting on my nerves now.
10:11 The performance segment is kicking off with Tweet singing "The Rain." Her hair is not super dooper fly.
10:12 What do you know, there's Timbaland in a tight shirt looking all swole.
10:12 Missy loves some little dancing children. No Michael Jackson.
10:13 Go head, Eve. She's killin' her "Hot Boyz" verse.
10:14 Go home, Keyshia Cole.
10:14 If Nelly Furtado falls down those stairs!!
10:14 Where'd Nelly F. get all that trunk junk from??
10:15 I can't see Fatman Scoop without thinking about Man and Wife TV. That is such an unsavory thought.
10:15 Is that the Grim Reaper dancing on stage? Oh no, it's just Ciara.
10:15 I'm poppin my thang to "Lose Control" as I type this.
10:21 Here comes Daddy Diddy to kick off the New Jack Swing portion of the evening.
10:22 Diddy is biggin' up Teddy Riley and Mr. Magoo...um, Andre Harrell.
10:23 Wow, Andre coined the term ghetto fabulous. Thanks, I think.
10:24 Teddy Riley rocking a baldy? Not a good look when your head has corners.
10:25 "PUT SOME CHAMPAGNE IN THE GAME!" Thanks for my new mantra, Andre.
10:25 Lawd, I love New Jack Swing!
10:26 AW NAW, HELL NAW! T-Pain is in the NJS tribute?
10:27 Get it, Doug E. Fresh! Dag I can't wop and type at the same time!
10:28 AW HELL TO THE NAW! T-Pain sitchononsingingbooboothefoollookingass down!
10:28 If I was Keith Sweat and had to listen to T-Pain butcher my song like that I'd be nice and pissed right now.
10:29 Why is T-Pain still singing? Take me now, Lord! TAKE ME NOW!
10:29 I'd be mad if I was Ne-Yo and had to follow that clown.
10:30 Ne-Yo is doing "I Like" justice. I aint mad.
10:31 Oh my damn! Kool Moe Dee! Welcome to Team Chunk to you, too.
10:31 LL Cool J is somewhere laughing his tight abs off right now.
10:36 Oh Lawd...a skit with Tracy Morgan as a cab driver. This should be good.
10:37 OK, not so much.
10:37 Salt-N-Pepa's here! Along with Pep's new pinched nose.
10:38 I'm confused...didn't they just do they New Jack Swing tribute?
10:38 Ne-Yo's back and he's remembering the time.
10:38 Oh God, Keyshia Cole is back, too. Is her mic turned on? If so, please turn it off. She looks great but sounds a hot mess.
10:39 Aw shucks, a 1/2 of Blackstreet reunion.
10:40 Aw damn, Teddy Riley is all winded and ish. I hope that a medic is backstage with some oxygen.
10:41 RUMPSHAKER! Excuse me..dance break!
10:42 Oh no, Teddy Riley is doing his rap from "Rumpshaker" at like half the speed. Bless his heart.
10:48 Why does Tracy Morgan have that hot ass shearling coat on?
10:50 Heeeeeey, Uncle L. Please sutograph a copy of your fitness book to Kool Moe Desserts.
10:51 Time for the Wild Style video segment.
10:51 I need to know where Charlie Ahearn got that blinged out Wild Style t-shirt from, too.
10:52 Fab 5 Freddy looks the same as he did 25 years ago. How old is he anyway? He's the Black Dick Clark.
10:53 That basketball court scene in Wild Style is truly a classic.
10:53 I'm loving these old photos and footage from early 80's NYC.
10:54 Grandmaster Caz from the Cold Crush Brothers, KRS-One, Chief Rocker Busy Bee and Grand Wizard Theodore are about the kill it. I feel it coming on.
10:54 Did LL just say reciprient??
10:55 Go head, Busy Bee. I see you rockin' the mic right.
10:55 Those b-boys better get it!
10:56 The Blastmaster! Love how KRS incorporated Jena 6 into his rap. Hotness.
10:57 Aw damn, KRS-One's 2004 Hip Hop Honors medal just broke off of the ribbon it was on. Good thing it didn't fly off into the crowd.
10:58 Go head, Grandmaster Caz. THIS IS HIP HOP!
10:58 "I'm old school, but I'm still in my prime." I know that's right, Caz!
11:01 Tracy Morgan is back at it in another cab skit. Next!
11:02 Chris Rock is announcing the Whodini segment.
11:04 Whodini was oh so sexy in their prime. I'm gonna need them to explain what happened.
11:07 I'm hating that I missed the Fresh Fest back in the day.
11:07 Oh snap, UTFO used to be dancers for Whodini? You learn something new everyday.
11:08 Here comes another Whodini dancer from back in the day, Jermaine Dupri, in their tribute.
11:08 Nelly and Nick Cannon are in this tribute, too? Ohhhkaaay.
11:08 Nick Cannon looks corny but he sounds kinda hot on "Funky Beat." Excuse me!
11:09 Nelly surprisingly sounds decent doing "One Love." Color me surprised.
11:09 I do need this dancing chick to sahdown, though. I'm getting a yeast infection just looking at how tight her clothes are.
11:10 "Five Minutes Of Funk" with Jermaine Dupri. He sounds damn good, too.
11:11 Aw sooky sooky! Whodini is taking the stage! Y'all better get it, Ecstasy and Jalil.
11:11 FRIENDS! HOW MANY OF US HAVE THEM?
11:12 They are rockin' the house with "The Freaks Come Out At Night." Love it!
11:13 Who is this random dude on stage with Whodini?
11:14 DANCE BREAK! Even Nelly is doin' the wop.
11:14 Oh snap! Jermane Dupri did a little breakdancing move. He still got it.
11:15 Grandmaster Dee is cutting up on the wheels steel.
11:15 Some big dudes picked Grandmaster up and carried him off the stage! And he was STILL scratchin'! I love it!
11:15 Why don't DJ's call themselves Grandmaster anymore? I think I'm gonna start calling myself Grandmaster Butta. OK, OK, Grandmistress Butta. LOL
11:20 It's time for the felon's portion of the evening.
11:21 Harvey Keitel is introducing Snoop Dogg. HARVEY KEITEL?
11:22 The first record Snoop bought was the 45 of "Ring My Bell" by Anita Ward. Something is so wrong yet so right about that.
11:24 I'm still not understanding Harvey Keitel's purpose here.
11:25 B.G. and T.I. are kicking the Snoop tribute off. "Cause it's 187 on an undercover cop."
11:26 Pharrell is flowing quite nicely on "Aint Nuthin But A G Thang."
11:26 Where the hell did Daz appear from? He just popped up outta the floor. Hilarity.
11:27 No Ice T didn't just C-Walk onto the stage. He's sippin' on "Gin & Juice" right now.
11:32 Yet another Tracy Morgan taxi cab skit.
11:33 Harvey Keitel AGAIN? Did I miss something? Is he homies with Snoop now?
11:34 Part two of the Snoop tribute. Look at
Lil Bow Wow trying to act all hard. Ciara ain't studyin' you, homie.
4 Snoop comes out to help him with "What's My Name." Show him how it's done, Snoop Dizzle.
11:35 Here comes Skateboard P to "Drop It Like It's Hot."
11:36 Snoop is flowing on his verse in his 4X lumberjack shirt.
11:37 The Tribe Called Quest segment kicks off after the commercial break. I've been waiting for this allll day.
11:42 Tracy Morgan is back in a velvet coat. I'm hot just looking at him.
11:43 Aw yeah! Aw yeah! Here comes ATCQ.
11:44 Awwwwwww...look at Phife looking all sickly. Bless his heart. Pray for him tonight, y'all.
11:45 I see you Jairobi!
11:45 Native Tongues got rhymes galore!
11:47 Common kicks it off with "Bonita Applebum"!
11:47 What the devil do these dancers have on? They need some chicks in headwraps and mudcloth. That's how Tribe woulda done back in the dizzay.
11:48 Pharrell AGAIN? He's sounding good, though, on "Electric Relaxation" so I'm not mad.
11:49 BOO, Lupe Fiasco, BOOOOOOO! No this aggin didn't chuckle when he forgot the lyrics?? He officially gets the gas face.
11:49 Look at Common acting all hard and what not on "Scenario."
11:50 Busta Rhymes is a little thick in the waist but he came out full force on his "Scenario" verse. LOVE IT!
11:50 What in the world is Busta saying? I think he's saying his lyrics but it's sounding like a foreign language right about now.
11:56 A Tribe Called Quest is closing the show. I'm in heaven right now.
11:56 Put your fists up for hip hop!
11:56 What is Consequence doing up there? Sahdown if you're just taking up space.
11:57 "Check The Ryhme," y'all! Oh snap, Phife is kicking his verse and doesn't sound as bad as he looks. He's still on my prayer list, though.
11:58 We on "Award Tour" with Mohammed my man!! Q-Tip is killing it and Ali Shaheed Mohammed is rocking the wheels of steel! This is truly incredible.
12:00 Aw man! Here come the credits. I don't want this to end!
12:00 Go head, Phife! Buddy, buddy, buddy, all up in my face!
12:01 The crowd is going bananas up in the Hammerstein Ballroom.
12:01 Oh no! The credits are done rolling. It's a wrap on this year's VH1 Hip Hop Honors, y'all. It's been fun! See ya at the next SoulBounce live blog!