"They've been comparing people to me for longer than I can remember. I'm just like, 'Whatever.' If they're the new me can they come and do my interviews for me or get in the studio and write one of my songs? Seriously though, I love everybody, it's not a competition for me."
That's Mariah "Black for the Remix" Carey on Leona Lewis. Disappointingly, the above statement was peppered with just enough class and good-naturedness for it not to be taken as an outright diss. If Mariah knew what it was like to have to dig into the crack of the Internet everyday and find something interesting to blog about on this site, perhaps she'd be a bit more charitable with talking out of the side of her mouth. Now I'm forced to re-interpret the remarks and make them nastier.
"They've been comparing people to me for longer than I can remember."
Translation: "These basic broads bore me. Do you realize who I am? Yawn!"
"I'm just like, 'Whatever.'"
Translation: "I'm just like, 'Whatever.'" (That portion of the quote was sassy enough without my input.)
"If they're the new me can they come and do my interviews for me or get in the studio and write one of my songs?"
Translation: "I just de-throned Elvis. Do that and we'll talk. Oh wait, you're just coming out with music. Talk to me in another fifteen years when I have three times the #1 hits as you. KTHXBAI."
"Seriously though, I love everybody."
Translation: "Leyora who?"
"It's not a competition for me."
Translation: "I have trouble interpretting the comparisons as a form of flattery, so I'll just assume people are trying to pit us against each other. That's the only kind of discourse I can comprehend since I've straightened my hair and colored it blonde."
I make my own fun.