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Are A Potential Mate’s Musical Tastes A Dealbreaker?


I can admit with no hesitation that I have only been able to tolerate partners who share similar musical tastes compared to mine. That is not to say that their tastes have to be identical to mine. In fact, I have enjoyed learning about new bands through poking around in my past boyfriends' pause tapes, CD collections, and iTunes libraries. That being said, I knew that a past relationship would be coming to an end once a past love of mine was not as enthusiatic as I was after having seen Dave Chappelle's Block Party. The folks over a Jezebel posed the question of whether a potential mate's musical tastes are a dealbreaker in your ability to date him or her. Since most of you Bouncers are as much audiophiles as we are here, I figured this would be the perfect audience to pose this same question to. If your music library is more Sade with an occasional 2 Live Crew track in the mix but your potential partner is more representative of what plays on terrestrial urban radio, is this a dealbreaker? If so, have you ever tried to show someone the light by impressing your music onto them? Let us know in the comments.
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11 Responses

  1. Yes! because I love good, soulful hip-hop, not that radio crap. We have to be able to share some similar tastes in music because the music he listens to reflects his personality.

  2. I wouldn't say their musical taste is a deal breaker..maybe if their lack of openmindedness (that is so not a word) would be a deal breaker...as long as they have an open mind to what I listen to and vice versa I think things will be alright...

  3. Musical tastes, in reality, are the worst way to judge a person. Period. Case in point: in college I had a professor who's extremely intelligent, thought-provoking and just an all-around great intellectual and teacher. She has a PhD....and she was the biggest Ricky Martin fan.
    There are so many things that go into how and why a person likes a certain type of artist, sound or genre that it's completely unfair to judge them on those grounds. Anyone who judges a person based on what they listen to hasn't left the 11th grade and needs to grow up.

  4. Yeah.... being a musical snob is not cool. That might be a reason for him to break up with you.
    The only way I can say it could be a deal-breaker is if, for example, he listens to a particular type of music, and actually espouses its negative values, then yes.

  5. It should NOT be a dealbreaker. I'm dating a man who's musical tastesbuds salivate over southern-fried hip-hop plus some of which come on the radio. Before we started dating, I rarely turned on the self-proclaimed hip-hop station, Now, I know more "current" music than I did in high school. BUT, he also knows and understands why I'm ober excited for the new Bilal album!

  6. One of the questions I am sure to ask a sista upon an initial conversation is 'what are the last 5 songs that came through you earbuds..?'
    musical taste is, in my experience, a fairly decent indicator of a number of things I look for in female friends...
    if she says she listens to Dead Prez, i can be fairly certain she is not a right -wing, evangelical, fiscal conservative...

  7. OK....I don't usually leave comments, but on this topic I was so inclined. The person I'm dating having conflicting musical taste isn't a deal breaker for me. Actually, nothing pleases me more than that look of appreciation/confusion that crosses a lovers face as they ask "who is this", when I'm playing Teedra Moses or Eric Roberson in the house. I have given away countless cd's to friends and potential mates, all in the name of spreadin' the love. But at the same time, I've found it hard to build a meaningful relationship with someone who does not appreciate good music. I almost feel as if it should be a crime to just accept most of the crap that is played on "urban" stations as musical entertainment. So it kinda boils down to, if they're open to something different....then I'm open to them. Just my humble opinion....

  8. Completely unimportant to me.

  9. Well, I too, don't think that musical tastes/preference should be a deal breaker. However, I have dealt with a few females over the years. One in particular, got in my car while i was playing ERRO and she asked "Did I listen to 'real' black music?" I knew then that she was just ignorant in music matters. Needless to say, her and I don't talk anymore. I agree that it does boil down to open mindedness. I listen to Lil Wayne when i'm in the party mood but you'll find the roots and tanya morgan in more frequent rotation in my car and on my computer. If she can't get 'jiggy' with my music then she just has to BOUNCE! pun intended.

  10. I definitely don't think it's a dealbreaker, although it can cause a little 'friction'.
    My other half and I have very different musical tastes. He listens to much more mainstream stuff and alot of Indie music (this is its own genre in the UK, think The Killers, Snow Patrol, Oasis). I admit i'm a bit of a music snob and hate listening to commercial radio, however he is happy (sometimes at least) to listen to my stuff, and sometimes he even likes it.
    I drag him to gigs quite a bit, most recently Ledisi, and he tends to enjoy them more times than not.
    Although the time he criticised Floetry's 'Say Yes' as boring and 'Sometimes You Make Me Smile' as whiney and depressing nearly ended in disaster lol.

  11. Partnering with the other posters...openmindedness is key. I remember when I was introduced to neosoul. N'Dambi's first album had just come out. I was dating a young lady who was at her end of patience listening to the latest Top 100 hip hop in my car. She immediately wipes out the CD and say put that in "Please!'. So I did and here I am now. A neosoul freak. I even managed a couple neosoul artist here in ATL. I love it. I still love Hip Hop, but there's always time for some Dwele, Omar, or L.Hathaway. Unfortunately that wasn't the deal breaker, my neverending lust for the flesh with her girlfriend ended it.



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