Thanks To Diddy We Now Need ‘Shades’ For Our Ears

I woke up today in a bit of a foul mood. Little did I know that I would be cheered up by the most unexpected source. Thanks to Diddy, Lil Wayne, and Justin Timberlake, I can now credit all three of them to providing me with the biggest guttural laugh I've had in quite some time. Take a listen to "Shades" below and then join me after the bounce for my thoughts.

  1. Is that Lil Wayne doing spoken word in the beginning of this track? Yes.
  2. Are "I'll pour a gallon of gasoline on my heart just to light your cigarette," "Make sure you put your panties in your pocketbook" and "I'll even take off my shades and stare at the sun from the stage" lines that work on anyone these days? Yes? My apologies. Carry on.
  3. I've never made love on marmalade, but it can't be hygienic for any parties involved.
  4. Is this track really almost six minutes long?
  5. What is Justin Timberlake's purpose in this song? Street cred?

At best, this track sounds like it was the brain child of codeine syrup and a post-after party thought of "Hey! We should all do a track together! Like right now!" The funny and sad and ironic part of all of this is that the only person who sounds appropriate on this track is Justin Timberlake. Why? Because his section of the track sounds exactly like Timbaland-produced "My Love" which I actually loved.

If anything this song sounds like the aftermath of an accident. Maybe that's the point. In any case, to all of you who may like this song or label me a hater, it's not hate. I just don't like it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find some opiates, a pole dancer, and a MPC machine to go create an ode to my right big toe which is only slightly more interesting that this song. 

TAGS:  , , , , ,

12 Responses

  1. I was so put off by this, I think Weezy F. Baby was trying to do some kind of Andre 3000 impression at the beginning of this mess. It did not work.
    Glad to know I was not alone in my thoughts regarding making love on marmalade...two thumbs down.


  3. This song is a bowel movement gone bad. Ever take a dump and forgot to check the toilet paper roll before hand? well this is that. Excuse me while I go stab myself in the ears:-)

  4. I needed crutches to get past weezy's spoken word shyt. Once I did that, I questioned my own existence. Why would I do this to myself. I blame Obama, yes, I do. We have lost our complete minds since he got in office. Puff, Weezy, and Timberfake knew DAMN WELL this song sucks more than Kat Stacks at the Source Awards. iCant.

  5. I went into cardiac arrest after Weezy babble poetry, everything else is a blur.

  6. heeeellll naw. this sux balls

  7. I'd been looking for a reason to use the phrase "sh*t balls"...thanks to this track, I found one.

  8. Lil' Wayne sounds like he's on his Def Poetry Jam steez. I couldn't make it through the whole song. Is that Puffy singing towards the beginning? Why? No bueno at all.

  9. honestly the song wasn't As bad as everyone is commenting. Weezy's part was str8....he was on his Love Jones, poetry *ish....but still had that Wayne flavor...i liked his part...even the beginning was ok...It was not until the middle/end that it just became overwhelming... They tried to use every technique they knew. There was just too much going on, 20 different adlibs/vocals going on, all saying different stuff....The beat was decent, real basic...a lil more drums and it's be hot. And a lil less of all the over done vocals and it could be alright.

  10. alright, i don't think it's the worse thing i've ever heard. in fact, it's rather tolerable. would i download it? no. if it came on in a club, would i projectile vomit? no. does sound like somebody/bodies grabbed the syrup before they grabbed the mic.
    ...and jt gets a serious, prolonged side eye, straight up.
    ...but i don't hate it. it's not the worse thing i've ever heard.
    but i'm like... HOW (or why, for that matter) does one get bootie on marmalade? i love marmalade; orange marmalade on toast is my ish. but i don't think i wanna eat it off a bootie or get some bootie that's nestled in it. i'm just sayin'. wouldn't the bits of fruit in it be problematic? i have too much time on my hands. it's friday, y'all. it's 3:50. i'm at work. until 6. that's my excuse...

  11. There is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much going on in this song. Remove all the voices. Rewrite the lyrics to lyrics that aren't dumb as f**k. Replace the voices with truly talented folks. Then maybe it would be something I'd want to listen to more than once... Maybe.