What The Game's Not Been Missing: Jheri Curls



"Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it." -- Edmund Burke

There are certain things that need not be revisited. Phenomena that we wish would go away, that we want to sweep under the rug. However, staying silent will only cause us to relive past mistakes.

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I speak, dear friends, of the Jheri curl.
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Every black person born before 1990 has worn or secretly wanted some variant of the Jheri curl, the hair relaxing regimen that experienced widespread popularity in the '80s and early '90s. The Jheri curl style matched the gaudy glamour of the 1980s in the same way that afros reflected the defiance of the Black Power Movement -- a rebellion against the rebellion. I fear that the pendulum may again swing back to the Soul Glo era, which will present a crisis for the soul of soul music.

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The problem is that for all its implications of self hatred, the lowly Jheri curl birthed some of the greatest soul music (and musicians) in modern history. My hypothesis is this: the chemical compound of the Jheri curl activator has a psychotropic effect on its wearer, producing hallucinations that activate the remaining 90% of gray matter in the brain. This provides the jheri curl wearer with a level of divine inspiration that is unmatched. This is the only explanation that remotely makes sense in this matter.

Interestingly enough, when it comes to the curl, male performers seem to have been afflicted the worst. Millions of shirt collars, pillows, and hats were destroyed by crooners trying to achieve the "good hair" look. Groups like Immature had better relaxers than all of Beyoncé's lacefronts combined. And while baby hair still find a place on the sideburns and foreheads of many female artists today (Chilli, Brandy, Ashanti), no scourge was as deeply rooted or ridiculous as the curl of the Jheri variety.

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Let us examine the scalps of a few musicians who harnessed the curl to ride the wave of musical success:

Luther Vandross
People often debate the vocal quality of skinny Luther versus thicksnack Luther, but the discerning ear should listen to the difference between curl Luther and natural Luther. Despite never having a fully-defined curl, Luther tapped into his deepest talent when he let his Jheri-fied locks cascade.

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Ice Cube
A shower cap never looked so cold on a brotha. Cube came straight out of Compton with a curl and a chipped canine, and he has never looked back.

Ready For The World
Oh Sheila, indeed. This group produced a string of hits and videos that have entertained black folks for decades. What the public doesn't know is that Sheila was not a lover, but rather the woman who lovingly applied the creamy crack to the band's tresses to achieve their unique brand of sexy.

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Michael Jackson

The Great Thriller himself reached the pinnacle of his career sporting a jaunty S-Curl upon his head. This became his signature look, and he continued to relax his natural afro until the end of his life. Unlike other artists who grew out of the curl, MJ was never able to let it go. And lest we forget that for all of its horror, the Jheri curl gave us "Human Nature."


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They won our hearts with their harmonies and slick dance moves, but that wasn't the only slick thing about Ralph, Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike (and later Johnny). Not even a side-parted, Jheri-curled ducktail could keep the world from loving these Beantown balladeers.

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"Natural hair" is now all the rage, but it is only a matter of time before people again turn to the greasy bosom of an S-Curl and bottles of Sta-Sof-Fro. As artists like Lloyd and Miguel gain more and more attention for their hair than their music in some cases, more male artists will be susceptible to the belief that they too must submit to letting their soul glo to achieve what they can't grow on their own. In the music world, we have to think long and hard about the consequences and tradeoffs of returning to this aesthetic standard, as well as the glorious musical benefits it could reap. 50 Cent took the plunge, and it is only a matter of time before his contemporaries join the wave nouveau.

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