You know the one thing that is missing during the holidays? Ratchet Christmas music. Outside of Eazy-E’s “Merry Muthaph*ckin’ Christmas” most artists try to maintain a “White Christmas" by doing your standard covers and happy-go-lucky original songs perfect for Gap commercials. Besides, the most sensational thing your mama 'nem gon’ play is Alexander O'Neal’s “Sleigh Ride.” However, the holidays, whether you’re here for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or Festivus, are a time to party and bulls**t with your friends and family. Why can't we have some ratchet holiday music to sweat out our weaves and drop it down low with Yuletide glee?
But who came through like Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer to save the day? Khia! Florida’s own Hood Mistress, known for her special brand of gutta-butt music might have the best Christmas cover of the holiday season with her take on the Christmas standard, “Santa Baby.” The Thug Misses adds some stank and a little New Orleans bounce to the classic tune. Considering how messed up 2016 has been already, this shouldn’t be too much of a surprise.
While some may say that Eartha Kitt didn’t die for this, we want you to hear us out. Khia’s interpretation of "Santa Baby," which adds some thump to move your junk in the trunk while she regales us with her fantasy of giving Santa her cookies, isn’t as bad as it seems at first. Yeah, the lyrics can be a bit much, as the “My Neck, My Back” artist keeps it raunchy by mentioning, “Warm buttermilk slippin’ sliding down your throat" along with “Deck my walls with sloppy toppy…. ‘Tis the season to be naughty." While that isn’t our idea of merriment, the beat is so infectious and Khia’s flow (sans words) is so on point that we’re willing to ignore the lasciviousness of the track. Even the video for the song is cute, with Khia at home decked out like an elf as she decorates for the holidays.
In addition to serenading us with her own version of “Santa Baby,” Khia also entertained us with her second annual holiday special, discussing all the things she’s thankful for, such as not missing the holidays with her kids because she had to beat a b***h ass for coming to her n***a's mammy house to get a plate, not looking a lopsided mess like K. Michelle and the fact that Gucci Mane is home and doesn’t have to make payments on his chains anymore. And that’s all within just the first 10 minutes (we couldn't bear to watch any more after that). Like all things Khia, it’s better in small doses. However, you’re welcome to indulge.
This holiday, and maybe for the first time ever, we have to give it up to Queen Khia. Yes, Queen. We usually wouldn’t put the royal title in front of her name, but this song has us in the giving spirit, so we’ll let her have that. Hit play and get into this new Christmas classic...or something.